Grab a bowl of popcorn, turn out the lights, and hold your teddy near. I’m about to tell you a terrible tale.
This story may be sliiiiiiiiiiiiightly dramatized for effect. But it totally happened!
I got out of work late this evening and stumbled into the inky darkness as the warm winds from the oncoming storm tugged at my clothes. (I may or may not have stumbled because I was trying to text and walk in the dark.)
Hurriedly, I slipped into the safety of my mini van. The door clunked shut as I briefly checked my text messages. I ignored the warning flashes of lightning reflecting in my rear view mirror. (Because I don’t know about you, but I think answering text messages is more important than driving home when there are tornado watches. Priorities.)
Then I heard it.
The first time it came, I tuned it out–assumed it was noise from the storm. But then it came twice more.
This time I paused, hand frozen on my phone mid-swipe–eyes wide, staring at the empty rear view mirror for the source of the sound.
Nothing. No one was there. No tree limb behind me to cause the noise. Nothing.
Slowly… carefully, I placed my phone in the cup holder–as if any sudden movements would cause the Boogey Man to jump out beside me.
Something was behind me. NO, something was on my vehicle–thwacking it. Was it a person? Was someone collapsed on the ground behind me, slapping my vehicle to get my attention?
From the corner of my eye, I caught the movement–saw the swing of an arm and heard the haunting sound.
I swung around. SOMEONE WAS IN MY VEHICLE!
Being a mom of four, my first thought was that one of my children had stowed away in the van and was now overheated and dehydrated from the unusually warm October day. They were probably flailing in the back as a last ditch effort cry for help. Once I realized that I was being ridiculous because all four of them were with their dad, I assumed it was a murderer.
Child or murderer. Makes sense.
My mind raced. What should I do?! Should I call 911?! Will I be murdered?! In the dark?! In my work parking lot?! Will my death be on Unsolved Mysteries?! (It’s funny how many things you can think of in the 1.25 seconds before you’re killed.)
The horrifying sound came again and my heart jumped as… as…
…as my rear windshield wiper swiped up and down.
Only then did I remember leaving the rear wiper on as I parked my van in the rain that morning.
Oohhhhhhhhhhhh………………………. Oh yeeahhhhhh….
I am not a smart person.