Potty Training Woes

We’re still in the process of potty training TheLittlePrince. And by potty training, I mean that in the loosest way possible. Read: we have no idea what we’re doing.

Yes, I’ve successfully potty trained two boys before him, but there’s a 6 and 4 year gap between The Little Prince, TheWiseOne, and Z-boy. While this doesn’t seem significant most of the time, it does now that I’m trying to potty train my youngest boy.

I think I’ve forgotten how to potty train. It’s not like riding a bike. It’s not coming back.

Let me clarifiy, my boys have never made potty training easy. I’m not one of those parents with the potty trained 18-month-old who smiles and says, “We just let her pick out a potty chair at Walmart and she did the rest!” I’m also not one of those parents who says, “He’s 2 and mostly potty trained. I mean, he still has accidents at night, but otherwise does well.”

Nope. I’m the parent of the child who sits in the bathtub, plays with his toys, then looks up at me in surprise as the water turns yellow.

TheWiseOne was a late bloomer, so to speak. I remember that he was nearly 4 when I threatened to glue is butt to the potty if he didn’t quit peeing in his underwear. This actually worked for him since he was completely capable of using it, but was simply too lazy. Z-boy was just a little younger than that, and a little easier, too.

TheLittlePrince is a ripe 3 1/2. He hides to poop. He’s shown interest in the potty earlier than the other two. And yet, he still sits in a yellow bathtub.

This morning, I decided to get him in the routine of sitting on the potty during the “high risk pee time”. So, as soon as he got up, on the potty he went. I sat on the toilet next to him and ate my cereal. He smiled, chittered about using the potty, and…

…did absolutely NOTHING.

My patience was wearing thin.

“Try to push the pee pee out,” I advised him and demonstrated with a pretend grunt and push.

He pushed and grunted with little rosy cheeks. “The pee’s not coming out.” Another grunt. “The poop is not coming.” Another grunt…

“Oh! A fart came out! And it tastes like terrible!” he cried.

End of potty session.

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