The following are life lessons experienced by me or my friends and family. I hope you find them valuable. 😉
1) Do not put metal in the microwave. Sparks! SPARKS EVERYWHERE!
2) Do not heat eggs in the microwave–even boiled ones. They will most definitely explode–even if they wait for you to get 10 steps from the microwave before they do it.
3) Do not use wax paper in place of the parchment paper then put it in the oven. Does anyone smell a candle burning? Who lit a candle?
4) Speaking of candles, you can’t light one by putting it in the microwave. Or actually, you kind of can if the sparks from the metal piece in the bottom light the wick. Who knew?!
5) Do not drive a lawn mower over a snake unless you like the feel of wet bologna all over you.
6) Do not put oven mitts in the snow and then grab a cookie sheet. Snow will go from freezing to boiling in 2.518495 seconds… roughly. And you will probably drop your cookies. 😦 Poor, poor cookies.
7) One should be careful with the application of Gold Bond (especially when applying it near the more sensitive parts of the body). Incorrect application may result in a voice two octaves higher than normal.
8) Lastly, when the stomach bug hits, never trust a fart.