One Dorky Husband! Ah ah ah!

A year ago, we bought this book for K-girl.

Have the fainting couch ready, ladies, because ISN’T THIS ADORABLE?! It is basically a counting book set to the world of Austen.

So, while I was cooking supper tonight (and K-girl kept trying to dance between me and the stove), TheBaldEagle was nice enough to distract K-girl with this book.

And I have to say I was much impressed. After all, it’s not exactly a manly book, and to see my big guy cuddle up so sweetly with our little one to read some Austen touched my heart. ❤

Until I heard this:

“One English village! Ah ah ah! Two rich gentlemen! Ah ah ah!”

For those of you who don’t understand what’s going on, let me bring back a piece of your childhood.

Oh yes, my husband was reading Austen to our child like the Count from Sesame Street.

But the kicker is when I heard this:

“Four marriage proposals! Ah ah ah! That Lizzie sure gets around!”

Note to self: Never let the hubs read Austen again.

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Paint

Once upon a time there was a kind woman who had just bought a beautiful house.

When the woman moved into the house, she brought all her furniture, including a beautiful blue cabinet. Only, the walls were blue, too, and the cabinet no longer stood out. So, the woman decided to paint the cabinet a lovely yellow.

Enter VILLAIN (aka Z-boy)

Z-boy: “What are you doing?”
Kind Woman: “I’m painting the cabinet yellow.”
Z-boy: *weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth* “NOOOO! BUT BLUE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR!”
Kind Woman: “But the walls are blue! It’s fine! Now the cabinet will pop and make the blue walls look really nice!”
Z-boy: “It doesn’t go in here! It doesn’t look good!”
Me: “It’s fine!”
Z-boy: “Are you going to paint the walls yellow?!”
Kind Woman: *rolls eyes* “There’s only a quarter of a gallon here–not nearly enough to paint the walls. I could only paint one corner.”
Z-boy: “What all are you painting yellow?!”
Kind Woman: *channeling the patience of Job* “See everything on the cabinet that is blue? Well, it’s now going to be yellow.”
Z-boy: *sees a Frozen DVD sitting in the cabinet* “Are you painting Frozen yellow?!”
Kind Woman: “Is that part of the cabinet?”
Z-boy: “No…”
Kind Woman: “Then no.”
Z-boy: “It doesn’t look good. I don’t like it. You’re changing everything!”
Kind Woman: “Well, when you get to be an adult, you can paint everything in your house blue, and I will help you.”
Z-boy: *calming down* “Okay.”

Enter ANTAGONIST (aka TheWiseOne)

TheWiseOne: “Hey, Z-boy. She’s painting your room next.”
Z-boy: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

It’s a Fine Life

Warning: Newsies is an awesome musical, but if you haven’t seen it, you may not understand this post. So, do yourself a favor and watch Newsies!

TheBaldEagle was telling the boys what to do in the 4th of July parade…

TheBaldEagle: “I’ll be carrying the banner–”
Me: *belts* “IT’S A FINE LIFE! CARRYIN’ THE BANNER THROUGH IT ALL!”
TheBaldEagle: “My life is not a musical, but if you keep this up, it’s going to be a murder mystery.”
Me: :/

I’ll just leave this here:

Conversations in the Van…

Z-boy: “Mommy, what would you do if K-girl exploded?”
Me: “Ummm… what….?????”
Z-boy: “I would say, ‘What the heck?!?!'”

TheWiseOne: “Why won’t you let TheLittlePrince go to the public bathroom with us?”
Me: “Because I’m a mom and I imagine the worst case scenario. ”
TheWiseOne: “Like a meteor coming down?”

Yes, son. Exactly.