K-girl is Not One of Us

The fact of the matter is that I’m wrapped around a certain little girl’s finger.

It shames me to say that because I’ve always been so proud of my parental will power. But I guess that dissipates after you’ve had three mud-covered, power-bomb-throwing boys and finally get a soft and sweet girl.

Or sassy, fashionista girl, but whatever. Still a girl.

Our grocery store has these awesome carts that have a car attached to the front.

image

TheLittlePrince and K-girl LOVE it! And I love it because it keeps them still. (DISCLAIMER: These shopping carts will only keep children still, NOT quiet. They will squeak and squeal their little Smurf voices like midget banshees under the guise of making their car “honk”.)

The problem with these carts is that it lulls you into a false sense of security. The children love the cart. The children will not leave the cart. I can actually focus on purchasing groceries and finding great deals…

Then my Mommy sensor goes off. Thankfully we moms have eyes in the back of our heads, right?

This is as close as I’ll ever get to having eyes in the back of my head.

I turn around and see K-girl’s pudgy little fingers reach out just as she says, “Oh, I found da baby.” And then she gently takes the fabric baby doll from the shelf and cradles it tenderly in her arms with an expression of utter love and devotion.

My husband and I look at each other for a moment, helplessly.

Never (okay, let’s be honest, rarely) have we let the boys purchase a toy without them having earned money to do so or it being a special occasion. We’re all about teaching financial responsibility to our mini people. What do we do? How do you argue this with a 1-year-old? We’ve done it in the past, but suddenly in this moment, it escapes us!

All three boys are staring intently, waiting for my answer. They know that I pride myself on being fair. What is done for one, will be done for all. But do I really want to purchase overpriced, rickety grocery store toys times four?! Where the heck is my budget?! I’m panicked and stunned like a deer in the headlights. What do I do? What do I do?!

Suddenly it comes to me, I’ll do what any desperate parent would do in this situation! Simply ignore it and hope it goes away.

My husband sees the decision in my eyes and mutely agrees. It is an unspoken agreement. The princess shall keep her baby.

Because to take the baby would result in certain death.

We turn around and continue shopping as if nothing ever happened.

For a split second, I sense there will be protests. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the slack-jawed boys. I can hear the slight rumble in their throats as they prepare to proclaim the unfairness.

Then they stop. Suddenly, they understand:

“K-girl does not play by the same rules because K-girl is not one of us. K-girl does not even pee the way we do. She is her own special creature from another planet. She is not the rose among the thorns, but the lion among the hyenas. To challenge her authority is to look death in the eye and say, ‘Come get me, big boy.'”

We carry on with our grocery shopping. Crisis averted.

It’s going to be a long eighteen years.

Wisdom of TheLittlePrince

Let me share with you some 4-year-old wisdom and intellect, courtesy of TheLittlePrince…

–> “All the people in this world live in this world.”

–> “What does yogurt spell?”

–> “What does that stop sign say?”

–> “When I’m 56, I’m going to buy something cool.”

–> “Mommy, now you’re 31! And next year you’ll be 32. And the next year you’ll be 33. Then 34. Then 35. Then 36. Then 37. Then 38. Then 39. THEN 40!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then you’ll be 41…”